That went fast! I’ve been married to my wife Megan for a year now. I can still remember waking up at 6:00am to get Chick Fila for breakfast before my wedding (and I had Chick Fila for dinner the same day-Iam kind of obsessed). The wedding day goes by so fast. You plan, run around, drop a ton of money, and stress out for months just for a few hours. The day flies by. One minute you’re about to go out to stand at the altar, the next you’re married for a year.
Marriage is a beautiful thing. It’s a gift from God himself. It’s a picture of his love for us. You get to share life with your best friend. It’s amazing. I’ve learned and grown a ton just this year by being married to Megan. Here are somethings I’ve learned.
1. Marriage is fun: Chris Rock is wrong. Marriage is fun. You get to travel, laugh with, sleep with, and just live life with your wife. It’s a lot of laughing, eating good food, and sharing jokes with one another. Marriage is anything but boring.
2. Marriage is hard: Marriage is really hard. But really worth it. Things that are had are usually the most rewarding. In marriage you have two people, with two different backgrounds, two different ways of communicating, different struggles, different stresses, and different pet-peeves. It’s two selfish people coming together. Of course it’s going to be hard.
3. Communication is important: 95% of our fights have been because of lack of communication. I thought one thing, she thought another, we never expressed our thoughts or intentions clearly, and then an argument breaks in. Don’t just assume the other person can read your mind. Invite the other person into your thought process, explain whats going on, and be clear in communication.
4. Sacrifice is key: If both people are selfish it will be a long and draining relationship. Frankly, sometimes you don’t feel like serving the other person. It’s been a long day, a hard day, a tiring day, and a stressful day. The last thing you want to do is listen to there other person telling of their day, clean the dishes, clean your pets, make dinner (well Megan does this), and whatever other chore you do around the house. However, when both spouses sacrifice, love is most clear and evident. That’s what marriage is all about, serving, caring for, and loving one another just as Jesus has done all those things for you.
5. Your spouse won’t complete you: Do you feel compatible with your spouse? Yes! However, your spouse can’t save you, and complete you. Only Jesus can do that. Asking your spouse to do that is unfair. It’s to big of a burden. That is a God sized burden. Your spouse will fail you, sin against you, make you mad, be selfish, and let you down. God won’t let you down. Jesus completes you. When you realize this you won’t crush your spouse when she/he fails. You’ll be able to extend grace and compassion.
6. Community is helpful: It’s good to be supportive of one another, care for one another, and love one a another. It’s really helpful though, to have a community of friends to live life with. Other people who love you and your spouse, can pray for you, ask you hard questions, and lovingly point out need for growth.
7. Sex in marriage is better: Sex was created for marriage. It’s the ultimate commitment. Sex is beautiful in marriage. It’s being totally exposed to the other person, letting them in the deepest parts of your soul, and expressing your love and commitment to that person in a way words can describe. The myth is that married couples don’t have sex a lot. Not true. There is no guilt and shame when sex is done in marriage. Rather, it is celebrated.